Road Kill? We Can Only Hope

Wow. Just how batshit crazy is this woman??

Listen, if you can bear it, to the breathless, self-aggrandizing, incoherent, manic ramblings of a paranoid media whore (who happens to be the absolute darling of the perpetually-victimized, delusional right) imploding.



Somewhere, though, a wingnut is masturbating as Palin does her tough-girl sports chick schtick, telling us how "she needs to keep her eye on the basket", and how:

"You are naïve if you don't see a full court press right now on the national level picking apart a good point guard."

Oh, spare me, sister. Boo fucking hoo. That's right, you are so totally a victim of that mean old media and their pesky questions. (I wish!)

As Mr. Sullivan writes in his perfectly-titled post "The Miniseries Ends":

I think the simple truth is that, as even Alaskan Republicans told us last September, she was far from able to be governor of Alaska, let alone vice-president of the United States. Once the klieglights hit, it was only a matter of time before she imploded or exploded or some gruesome combination of the two. The librul media will be blamed for everything on her inexorable path to becoming a Fox News celebrity. Maybe a reality show? Someone hire her for The View!

I knew, even before listening to her dreadful public statement, that the Media Victim thing would be a theme . . . as if the woman has not exploited each and every one of her children as props in the ad campaign for her cult of personality from the very beginning.

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Extremely excellent paragraph from the über-sane Joan Walsh of Salon:

Getting weirder. CNN is now running the entire speech; earlier, it only ran a clip from her resignation statement onward. It's crazy stuff. For the first 10 minutes or so, Palin rambled weirdly about all the good things she's done for Alaska, on energy and budget issues, sounding kind of like a Furby who memorized a lot of information but has no idea how to repeat it in a human-like way. The tone and inflection were completely off.

OK - could that be more awesome? ". . . sounding kind of like a Furby who memorized a lot of information but has no idea how to repeat it in a human-like way." So perfect. Brava.

I Heart Pat Condell

Via JMG, Joe's "favorite YouTube atheist" (and mine):

Dear Asshole on the Log Cabin Republicans Float in the Chicago Gay Pride Parade:

Yes, you with the "Dance if I Paid Your Mortgage" sign.

Was that supposed to be funny? It wasn't. Fuck you. You haven't paid, and you aren't paying, my goddamn mortgage, OK? Of course you and your pathetic Quisling organization have every right to be in the parade to show us how much you're getting done working from within the Republican Party and all (great job on that during the Bush administration by the way), but WTF with the smart-ass, lying, Fox News talking point sign?? Where was the tea-bagging reference?

Walked down Halsted Street around 6PM, post-parade. HATE to sound like a scold, but what a mess. (The street and some of the people on it.) If people can manage to scam the front row seats with their lawn chairs and coolers full of beer (yes, jealous), can't they at least take their empty beer cans/bottles/cartons with them and NOT trash the street? And what was with the lines of cops just standing in the street outside Hydrate, Sidetrack, etc? Quite creepy.

ADDENDUM 6/30/2009 12:23AM

Oh man, just when you thought he couldn't get any more embarrassing . . .

I cringed when I saw our "Senator" Roland Burris in the parade. The crowd got rather quiet as he approached, grinning and waving like a damn fool. I'm sure it was part "WTF is he doing here??" and part "who is that guy??"

Did you know that while he claims to support civil unions, he feels that marriage is for "perpetuation of the species." Yup, he said that.

Heckuva job there, Roland. Thanks for showing up! No need to bother next year, though.

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On the other hand, any time our Smoking Hot State Treasurer and FOB (Friend of Barack) Alexi Giannoulias wants to show up, he's MORE than welcome. Unfortunately I was not in the front row and did not get to reach out and "accidentally" touch him inappropriately like a big perv shake his hand as he glad-handed his way up the parade route, working the crowd with all his Democratic hotness.

Republican Hypocrisy, Part 5,347,622

Bwa-ha-ha!!

Hiking the Appalachian Trail, my ass! [Is that what they call it?] Via HuffPo,

Gov. Mark Sanford admitted Wednesday he's been having an affair with a woman he visited on a secret trip to Argentina and said he'll resign as head of the Republican Governors Association.

Those sure are some nice family values you got there, guv!

Ah, the schadenfreude.


UPDATE 6/24/09 6:16pm

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE . . . a "man of faith". Of course he's a man of faith.

Exhaustion over the stimulus package?? Fucking spare me.

No of course Gubner Man of Faith won't resign. He can look forward to a round of applause and a standing O at the next gathering of whatever craven group of Family Values Republicans he currently heads.


UPDATE 6/24/09 11:16pm

OMG OMG OMG it's so good . . . the lefty blogosphere's reaction, that is:

- As a lead-in to something important but less entertaining (hello, it's 'murca, dude!), dday writes:

I'm going to try and get off Sanford Watch for a moment, mainly because I'm reading the cringeworthy emails with most of my hand in front of my face.

So true . . . "I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light." GAG. Yes, yes, I know we've all composed dreadful, cringeworthy paeans to those we love, or thought we loved, or wanted to love, or who we wanted to love us, etc, etc (haven't we??) . . . but we haven't all been speaking out against gay marriage while having an affair, or,

- as Ms. McEwan puts it, being "panty-sniffing fucknecks".

- Finally, I command you to go see JMG's take on the matter, complete with West Side Story blasphemy and a grotesque picture.


UPDATE 6/24/09 11:47pm

OMFG - the sons' names are Marshall, Landon, Bolton, and Blake? Is it possible to get any more Central Casting and pretentious? Gawd.


UPDATE 6/25/09 12:27am

Anyone else getting a little Mr. Mackey here?



(Cubby Culbertson???)

What James Said

This is one of the most compelling things I've read in a while. Being in an airport at least once a week, I've had a lot of experience with the TSA (Thousands Standing Around), a part of the Department of Homeland Security, ever since it came into existence.

From the beginning, I've thought that it was a clumsy, ham-handed, insulting response to September 11. In other words, typical Bush. The entire kabuki of removing the shoes, the yahoos in the uniforms (now blue to engender more respect - ???), the 3 oz. containers in 1 quart plastic bags, the bullshit scribbling on the boarding pass, etc, etc, has always been a joke to me - a pantomime of actual security that is itself a painful reminder of why we have to go through the motions.

Thus, I was heartened to see James Fallows's contribution to The Atlantic's recent Quick Fixes piece, re-printed/posted in its entirety below:

The Department of Homeland Security should not exist. Its rushed, bipartisan creation in 2002 reflected the political imperative to do something in response to disaster, whether or not that something made sense. (See also: case for the Iraq War.)

Since then, it has failed basic tests of bureaucratic effectiveness. One of the supposed benefits of amalgamation was to remove wasteful overlap so America could spend more money where it mattered and cut back everywhere else. In fact, as Cindy Williams of MIT has demonstrated, the shares of the DHS budget now devoted to the department’s individual parts—the Coast Guard, Border Patrol, etc.—are the same as they were when they were first lumped together. The DHS has also failed to develop a sustainable long-term antiterrorism strategy. Such a strategy would involve: focusing on the truly catastrophic threats (above all, loose nukes); building the best recovery and emergency systems, for resilience in case Plan A fails; and otherwise encouraging free people to live brave lives. Instead, the open-ended “Threat Level Orange” approach promotes vague background anxiety, making the public too complacent and too fearful. As for resilience: the DHS component known as FEMA showed its stuff during Katrina.

Yet sometimes undoing a mistake is more disruptive than helpful. We probably can’t get rid of the department. So, two ways to mitigate the damage: change the offensive, antirepublican, Teutono-Soviet name Homeland to Civil, as in Department of Civil Security. And make civil-security spending what national-security spending was in the Eisenhower era, when interstate-highway-building and language-teaching were all part of “national defense”: an umbrella for investments in new energy and water supplies, public health, basic research, and other efforts that will actually make us more secure.

Dog, how I hate that word, "Homeland". It encapsulates everything nefarious about Dubya. Homeland??? We don't have a "homeland"!!! Way to play to the xenophobic, American Exceptionalist Babbitts (aka your base).

Terribly Inappropriate Observation

Excuse me, but how beautiful and hot are Iranians?

Fareed Zakaria had a couple of hotties on his panel yesterday: Afshin Molavi and Parag Khanna. Yum.

For the record, I did watch (and listen to) the entire panel discussion . . . if you want something substantial, this is the place to be.

Dear Weather: I HATE YOU

Ah yes, my 8:40am flight back to Chicago has turned into a hostage situation thanks to what looks like Tropical Storm Bruno over Chicago. No departure time in sight. Totally SOL.

Not that I had anything to do today.

Dog fucking DAMN it. A total waste of a day.

UPDATE 10:50AM

OMG a kid from coach just moved up to an abandoned Business seat! I'm so telling the Flight Attendant. Get out of my sandbox, betch - Nobody sneaks into Baby's upgraded cabin!

Hey - I should SO be on Twitter . . . The world needs to hear my story!

At least now we can get off the plane. Must re-charge iPhone . . . teh internets is my only connection to the world.

Have discreetly informed FA that 12J is not a real Business Class px. (that's airline for passenger, btw)

UPDATE 11:22AM

FA has booted the offender . . . and she brought me a delicious choc chip cookie - for real.

The lying United Airlines computer just called to tell me we're "departing" at 11:45AM. Wevs. Who needs to work? I'm fine with sitting here all day.

lol two middle-aged guys (wait - I'M middle-aged!!!) were just saying that if they're stranded in Chicago they can go to Excalibur.

LMAO . . . kind of

I'm sorry, I think Sacha Baron Cohen's Brüno is beyond. I saw him on the cover of GQ in the Richmond, VA airport and absolutely fell out.


I snatched it up and continued LOLing. An excerpt from his Q & A:

Dear Brüno, what is your definition of “creative black tie”?
Okay, off ze top of mein head—a yellow Adrienne Landau printed chinchilla rex rabbit newsboy hat, worn mit ein Cynthia Steffe blue-violet velvet cadet jacket over a Cavalli back-belted chunky oatmeal sweater vest on top of a Cacharel gala shirt in silver, matched mit John Varvatos stretchtwill-brocade sailor pants over Stella McCartney patent snakeskin monk shoes offset by Costume National elbow-length leather gloves, und to accessorize, maybe a rudraksha-bead twenty-two-karat white-gold Neil Lane Infinity Pendant. Simple. Timeless. Classic.

And from his glossary:

Kugels/Kugelsack - testicles/testes. Ze place where is manufactured ze "liebekreme." Kugels are not to be confused mit ze famous Austrian pastry ze Mozart Kugel; however, both are equally delicious.

Don't tell the Teabaggers! And hello: LIEBEKREME!! So f-ing funny.

Still - I want to see the movie, but not in a theater. I'm pretty much averse to seeing any movie in a theater . . . perhaps it was those odious, entitled, totally skank, and just plain rude Lincoln Park Trixie Wannabes who were talking during my fourth (of five) viewings of Brokeback Mountain that did me in, but I hate theaters. Beyond that, I don't want to see douchebags laughing at Brüno "in the wrong way". It's one thing for me to laugh (heartily) at him, but the whole straights laughing at Brüno (played by a straight man) thing gives me pause. As Melissa McEwan puts it, "It's Not Irony; You're Just an Asshole". She accurately notes how "the straight actor purports to expose homophobia by portraying a mincing gay stereotype, without a trace of irony" and reminds us that "the gays-are-funny double entendres that are a hallmark of the character". Hrmmm . . . perhaps not such a good time after all.

It's so true. When I read the "liebekreme" thing (above) on the plane, I was practically in tears. However, in the back of my head, I was thinking - I hope anyone seeing me do this knows I'm gay. However, as I hadn't opened my mouth (thanks V), perhaps they didn't - what then??

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As a bonus, and speaking of douchebags (or not??), check out this magnificent photo of you-know-who, from the same issue:



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I checked out Mr. Sullivan's blog to see if he had anything to say about Brüno, but he's all consumed with the situation in Iran. God - way to be all serious an' shit.

Dear Airline: I Still Hate You

So tonight's UA flight from RIC to ORD is delayed 64 minutes. 1 hour and 4 minutes. (As of now, that is - 5:40PM; since there's no plane at the gate, how is 6:15 supposed to happen?)

No reason given, of course. Just cuz.

Must be a cloud at O'Hare messing up the overbooked, couldn't-ever-not-be-late-even-in-perfect-weather schedule.

UPDATE 6/16/2008 6:17PM

Ah, yes . . . the dreaded runway closure and ground hold. Guess it's raining or rained at O'Hare, so natch, all is FUBAR. Our next "update" is due at 6:30. I'm waiting with breath that is baited.

I can only imagine what thrilling reading this is making. Live-blogging an air travel delay. Alert the Pulitzers.

Shut the goddamn door before someone sits next to me.

UPDATE 6/16/2008 7:50PM Central

OK, I know I'm a whiny, impatient brat. I know it's not adult behavior to toss my book into the (empty!) seat next to me and exclaim "Goddammit!" when the pilot announces the additional hour delay (that turned out to be 10 minutes) . . . but it's what I do.

We emerged under the clouds and land in a rainstorm with an incredibly low ceiling and minimal visibility. Much more than light rain . . . Go pilots!! I also would like to note that this particular crew of UA FAs did a fine job. As much as I kvetch and bitch and hate on UA and all airlines, I do understand that FAs have an incredibly difficult job (that nobody made them take). I had the honor of being the "assistant" during the safety demonstration: I got to hold the seatbelt extension and fake oxygen mask and bag. It was all I could do not to provide my own "here's how you unlock the seatbelt" demo.

CNN Fail . . . again

Sitting here in a hotel bar - the lovely Westin Richmond (I'm serious). Most of the TVs are tuned to the studly Milwaukee Brewers at the hunky Cleveland Native Americans/First Peoples. [When did the Jake (sp?) become Progressive Field?? Where have I been? I went to a game there about five years ago - very nice stadium.]

Anyway, over in the corner, the idiot Campbell Brown has the revolting Marc Thiessen on AGAIN . . . "debating" whether Obama is making us "safer". A debate?? You've got to be kidding me. It's anything but. No ideas are being exchanged - no minds are changed. It's just free adverts and a chance for talking points to be repeated . . . usually. I did enjoy this.